What was the worst PAIN you’ve had in life and how did it change you?

For most of us, we have had an extremely painful event in our life. Usually it is around a break-up/divorce or a death, or a huge disappointment. Maybe and likely there is more than one, but I would like you to gently think about the one that comes to mind first.

For me, it is when my mother died when I was 24 (cancer). Up until then, the worst that happened when was when my cat died (still very painful!), and since then, really nothing compares.

Now think about how it has affected your life, both positively and negatively.

The positive is easier to think about for sure, more pleasant anyway. For me, I definitely have more compassion for other people going through death of a parent, and I also appreciate mothers in general a lot more.

For you, it could be something similar to mine, or perhaps a closer relationship with someone else as a result. Through a break-up/divorce, you might have realized your strength and resiliency. You might have learned your own values and priorities.

Now, I want you to think about how it has been holding you back. Often when a hurtful things happen, we automatically create a story about it, in an effort to protect ourselves from its happening again. We might tell ourselves things like “You can’t count on anybody” or “Loved ones are likely to get sick and die”.

For me, with my mother, I think my sisters and I all are more appreciative of our father, but we are also nervous that he will die too. We know he will, but before his time is what we worry about. Every health issue is a reason for concern. And I know that having that “Dad’s okay isn’t he?” energy isn’t good for him or us. And so I have to consciously choose to instead imagine him being 95 years old (I swear he will still be a non-stop talker then).

How has your painful story changed your view of the world? How could it be holding you back and/or helping you focus on more of what you don’t want in your life?

Let us know in the comments section below how you could rewrite the story to accept it happened but not mean dire consequences for the future.