How Sabotage Helps You

by Aimee Serafini on April 9, 2014

roadblock flickr 10074128173_96dcce6f1c_mMost of us, and especially those of you in our community, know that life is pretty amazing when we can allow ourselves to fully enjoy it.

And we know the biggest problem is we get in our own way.

So we tend to get frustrated with ourselves for our blocks and limiting beliefs. And want to get rid of them.

I’m all for that, in a sense, because why be limited when we don’t have to be?

But also, I like to show honor for those beliefs, because on some level, they work for us. We didn’t create them solely to make ourselves miserable. Usually they are created in a helpful way to protect ourselves from even greater misery.

It works like this (I’m going to use a weight situation since that’s so much on my mind lately) – you lose weight and people expect you to be more active and do more. You might get more attention from the opposite sex. You might have to say No to them (and hurt their feelings, not fun!). You might associate it with the time when you were thin before and your boyfriend broke up with you.

So your body mind thinks Yikes, we don’t like this, let’s put on some pounds to protect ourselves from this.

And then the next time we want to slim down, we just sabotage it immediately because we don’t want the new pain to even start. Then we say we got in our own way.

Yes you did, in a sense, but you also supported yourself and stopped new problems (however illogical it might seem on the surface).

This sabotage is really protection. Not just with weight, but with increased income, forming relationships, our health issues.

OK, so what do you do? The trick is to separate your past experience from the situation and release the connection you have between the two events. More money does not have to equal pain, even if it did in the past. Being at your ideal weight does not mean you are going to be busier than you already are.

And then there are practical strategies you can use as well so that you are comfortable handling any issues that do come up without sabotaging your success.

Any guesses to what I think the best tool for doing that is? LOL Of course tapping. It could be something like this:

Even though it will be scary when I make more money than my friends…
Even though if I lose weight people will expect me to do even more…

For those of you who are familiar with tapping you can try some on your own. For those of you new to it, check out the next article with a link to a recording of doing some tapping around fear about losing weight (which will give you great ideas of how to apply it other situations).

Let me know in the comments below what fears are keeping you back!

Leave a Comment

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Cindy April 10, 2014 at 7:12 pm

My biggest fear is being vulnerable. Fear of feelings. Fear of rejection.

Reply

Cindy April 10, 2014 at 7:13 pm

What dies awaiting moderation mean?

Reply

Aimee Serafini April 10, 2014 at 7:49 pm

It just means that I approve the comment before it is posted to the blog…there are one million spammers out there that post to blogs for various reasons and this way they don’t end up on the blog advertising viagra lol

Aimee Serafini April 10, 2014 at 7:49 pm

That’s a biggie Cindy! And one many of us share. Do you find yourself “sabotaging” yourself so that you don’t have get into situations where you might be vulnerable or rejected?

Reply

Cindy April 10, 2014 at 10:59 pm

Yes. I put up walls, I walk away. I won’t speak the truth about how I feel for fear of rejection.

Previous post:

Next post: