What are you NOT thankful for?

by Aimee Serafini on November 23, 2014

As we near the American holiday of Thanksgiving this Thursday, many of you will be focusing on what you are thankful for. And if not American, you have heard often to focus on the positive.

While I try to do the same thing, I think ignoring or dismissing what we aren’t thankful for is actually more harmful than thinking about it, as long as we use a tool or two to process that energy.

Just ruminating on the unhappy parts of your life doesn’t help either.

But if while thinking about them, you use a tool such as tapping (or EFT), to help move that energy along, you will find those thoughts and feelings pop up a lot less often. And when they do, they won’t have the big punch they used to.

Here’s a how-to for tapping  if you are unfamiliar, and in this situation you’d just think about what you don’t like and tap on each of the points on your face/body while you think those thoughts and feel those feelings. No need to say anything.

I’m not saying what you tap on will go away (although some times it does), but the yucky feelings will feel less important and impactful.

And while being postive and grateful is fun, it’s a lot easier when the negative isn’t always lurking around the edges trying to invade your thoughts whenever you let your guard down.

So for sure be thankful this weekend, but also acknowledge and process the negative stuff, we all have it. It will make the thankful part that much more fun!

Let us know in the comments below something you try to ignore or pretend it doesn’t bother you, and what tool you are going to use to help move that stuck energy along.

Happy Thanksgiving and Happy 4th Thursday of November to the rest of you. :-)

Ciao,

Aimee

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Debbie November 23, 2014 at 8:15 pm

Thanks Amy! It is now just about one year since I first tuned into your Love Myself Love My Life summit, which has led me on an amazing journey of self-discovery through the many different speakers and resources that you shared. There is still a lot to learn but I can honestly say that I have gained so much over this past year — listening to some of the speakers featured on your summit led to me to yet other resources and speakers… and then others… each providing their own unique piece of the puzzle in this quest for better emotional health and self-acceptance. So I am very thankful for the work that you do, and that I found your summit last year, pretty much by chance.

This year I am going to work on not only acknowledging the negative stuff (which I have been doing a lot of anyway) but of actually being thankful for it, because sometimes even the negative stuff has the power to transform us. I know that this has been the case for me. It doesn’t mean that I stop feeling yucky about the negative stuff, or that it is any less negative, but I can also see ways in which it has led me to other positive things.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Aimee Serafini November 24, 2014 at 8:29 am

HI Debbie, glad to hear you are still in the flow. You are right the next step is seeing the gift in the “negative” so that it isn’t all that negative any more…and that can be hard! So accepting it first can make it a little easier. But it sounds like you are already there and can move right into the gift side. :-)

Aimee

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Debbie November 24, 2014 at 11:13 pm

Yes, very true. Thanks for the reminder!
And I also love what the person below wrote about the gift and the wrapping.

Victoria November 24, 2014 at 1:50 am

I love tapping and have been using it for years. However, I sometimes do forget to tap on the stuff I am not grateful for. Thank you for the reminder. I have often said to the Universe (Spirit), “Sorry I didn’t recognize the gift right away. The wrapping (packaging) made it unrecognizable!!

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Aimee Serafini November 24, 2014 at 8:30 am

LOL I like that about the wrapping. I also forget to tap too sometimes and then when I remember I’m like DUH!

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Ellen November 24, 2014 at 10:36 am

You asked at the wrong time for what I am not thankful for! Although I have tapped, a lot, and used other energy psychology methods as well. I realized recently, that I still have intensely negative feelings around the vicious attack and siege and extortion perpetrated on my sister and me by our step-brothers. They were aided and abetted by the laws of the state, which basically said, once someone brings a suit against you, your only recourse is to buy them off, and the only question is how much, and neither right, nor wrong, nor truth enter into the decision. I still see this as legalized extortion, as well as un-Constitutional, since it presumes guilt, not only until proven innocent, but also with no opportunity or option to prove innocence. (Wikipedia defines extortion thusly: “Extortion (also called shakedown, outwresting, and exaction) is a criminal offense of obtaining money, property, or services from a person, entity, or institution, through coercion. Refraining from doing harm is sometimes euphemistically called protection.” The Oxford American dictionary says it this way: [Extortion is]”The practice of obtaining something, especially money, through force or threats. Origin [is from] Middle English: from late Latin extortio(n-), from Latin extorquere ‘wrest’ (see extort).”) They demanded money with menaces, and they got, with the assistance of lawyers, the entirety of the retirement monies our parents had worked hard all their lives to provide for their daughters, and I am still way beyond furious. I have tapped on it every time it comes up, and I’m going to tap again after I type this, but the level of the outrage and indignation just doesn’t recede by much, maybe nanometres, at a time … I still rate it at SUDS 10.

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Aimee Serafini November 25, 2014 at 10:47 am

Hi Ellen – yes there is a lot there to work with! First I am sorry for how you were treated and how the memory of your parents was dishonored. When there is a big event, outside help is often necessary. Until then, I would recommend on breaking down the whole scenario into little pieces and tapping on just one piece at a time, until you can get that one piece down to a 2 or lower. Tapping on the entirety of it is too big, in EFT world we liken it to cutting down a tree instead of trying to cut down a forest with one axe. As you work on each piece, you will find other pieces don’t bother you as much. So as a first step, I recommend making a list of all the specific wrongs that were perpetrated on you, your sister, and your parents memory by your step-brothers and the system, and rate each specific on a SUDS 0-10. This could be specific statements made, specific decisions made, actions taken, etc. Then pick one that is rated a 10 (there will be many) and tap on that. Eventually when you might be able to work with a professional, you will have done much of the groundwork and they can help you with the pieces that are not readily apparent. This is a big trauma for you and it needs your self-compassion for the magnitude of it and the time to process the healing. It will never feel good, but you can help it to stop destroying your peace of mind. Best wishes.

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Jayda November 25, 2014 at 8:38 am

I was sexually and spiritually abused – that means my pastor sexually abused me ….so my trust of God has plummeted. I’m not young; I don’t have a “whole life ahead of me…” I lost my church, my community, my job and my well-being. I’m thankful to still have my husband and my children. I’ve been in therapy and support groups for four years. I am a positive type. I have taken my health and that of my family to a higher ground. We will survive….but I need “work” on some trigger words ….those having anything to do with church. I have done some tapping. The biggest thing I’ve been trying to ignore is the disgust I feel every time I see an old ugly fat man.

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Aimee Serafini November 25, 2014 at 10:50 am

Hi Jayda – I am sorry to hear what was done to you and am glad to hear you chose to share your story. That is hard to do. I am glad you are in therapy and support groups and are focusing on your and your family’s health. I can imagine there are a number of things that could trigger you. I do find tapping is really effective in desensitizing those triggers so that we don’t feel they are controlling us. I would suggest you work with a local practitioner in your area to help you … this is a biggy and professional help is really important (as you know). Best wishes for your continued healing.

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