One of the things I’ve been frustrated with lately (and for years when I let myself think about it) is this dang law of attraction. I feel like I have been doing all the things “they” say I should but it’s not working. And when I say it’s not working, “they” then say I’m not doing it right. Or I’m not this or that. But here’s what I am doing:

1) Set clear intention focused on how I would feel should such thing come true.

2) Let go of the details and intend for “this or better”.

3) Feel like I already have it (and I can REALLY feel it, I’m super good at that).

4) Detach from the outcome.

The good thing is because I feel like I already have it, I don’t really feel unhappy or at a loss. Because if you already feel like you have something, what more is there to want? I don’t feel like I’ll be happy when ______ happens. I feel pretty good now.

But NONE of the things I’ve been writing about have come true. I just came across an old notebook, because I decided it was time to start journaling again. And in that notebook were very clear intentions from FIVE years ago. And from THREE years ago. And they were the same. And I still want them now. And I don’t have them now.

So then I’m told that I must have limiting beliefs getting in my the way. I kinda feel like this a cop out to explain why it doesn’t seem to be working. It’s like the Scientologists who do this really expensive audit in the high echelons of their group (read about it once) and it costs like $100k, and if it doesn’t work, they say that you have aliens inside of you or something like that. It’s not the process’ fault. Never their fault, always something wrong about you, which you can’t argue against.

So I feel like the limiting beliefs thing is the LofA cop out. And BTW, I have done a LOT of limiting belief work. I understand it well and have helped others with theirs as a relationship coach and an EFT practitioner. I’ve tapped away things that could possibly have been interfering. I don’t FEEL like I don’t deserve any of these things or that they are impossible. I’m not wanting to manifest anything unusual.  In fact I really feel like I deserve them and they are totally possible. But I tap just in case I feel that way. Or that I must feel that way because I’m not getting the results I want. And still nada.

But they tell me that the Law of Attraction is ALWAYS working, it’s a LAW not a theory, so if it’s not working in the way I would like I must be interfering with the process or doing it wrong. To me that feels like if I would say, gravity doesn’t seem to be working in my house. Everything is floating toward the ceiling, has been for the last x years. And the gravity specialists tells me, well gravity is ALWAYS working, so you must have some limiting beliefs about gravity. I would suggest, or Maybe gravity is not what you thought it was, or doesn’t always act in the way you have been teaching us.

Like I said, I’m a happy person, and I have a lot of things I’m grateful for. And you could then argue well it’s working because you are happy, and that’s the whole point right? But I don’t feel that’s Lof A at work. I feel that’s because I’m choosing to be happy. I’m choosing to feel that way. That’s not LofA – it’s not ATTRACTING anything into my life, it’s just how I decided to feel.

Still, I wouldn’t give up what I have learned about LofA. Even if it doesn’t work. Because I love having the power to choose how I want to feel. It’s a more empowering to know I GET TO DECIDE. And that it’s not about things showing up in my life, or specific outcome. I would take that any day over those things showing up and my feelings being at the mercy of external circumstances.

But I can’t help wishing I had that farm and amazing husband and naturally toned body too.

10 Responses

  1. Aimee! I think you’ve actually hit gold here. I believe that the things in life (i.e. the man, the tan, the health, and the wealth…and the farm) at best can only make us happier…but we have to bring the “happy” to the table. It sounds like that’s what you are doing. Remember the whole, “This or something better” part of the prayer? Maybe what you have is better???

  2. Kelly, I completely agree that I would take being happy on my own over these other things if I had to choose, but why can’t I have them both? If I’m purposely trying to manifest them using the techniques, shouldn’t I *also* get those? If not, then why even bother making clear intentions list and visualizing and all that and being specific, just go straight to manifesting feeling happy? I appreciate your comments, btw, I am really truly hoping through discussion that I will figure out what I’m missing. I so want it to work!

  3. What if you were to separate the attainment of happiness completely from the LofA? Meaning, on one hand you continue to make the conscious choice to be happy, and on the other hand you approach “success” in your LofA practice as simply recognizing things coming into your life every day that are a direct reflection with your thoughts and desires.

    Conditioning your “manifestation muscle,” as I like to call it, requires daily practice. You can set and define your highest intentions, like having the farm and the husband, but the real LofA work begins when you commit to opening your perception and recognizing when the Universe gives you little tastes of what you asked for. When you begin to notice that the LofA is always in direct communication with your thoughts and desires, when you get snippets of “proof,” you not only grow that muscle, but those snippets help you better define the details of your highest intentions.

    For me, practicing the LofA was never about finding happiness – I see it as a partnership with the Universe on this crazy journey through life. I see it as the Universe granting me what I ask of it, but if and only if:

    1) I meet it half-way by taking action towards my highest intentions regularly;
    2) Recognize daily all the ways it shows up in my life (like mile markers or signs that I’m on the right path);
    3) Trust in Divine timing – I have no control when the bigger intentions are manifested, and I’ve grown to really enjoy that. It may happen tomorrow or it may happen in 10 years, but either way, I have full faith that it will happen – I just get to enjoy the ride in the meantime.

  4. I agree that LofA is not about finding happiness…what I was saying is if it is not going to help me manifest the tangibles, then why not just skip to manifesting happiness? But really my larger point is why can’t I also manifest the tangibles?

    As far as your last three tips, I know I take action, I have never been one to sit on the sidelines.

    I am not sure how having a house in the country shows up daily/weekly/monthly in my life? I actually don’t want one on my own, that’s too much to handle for one person. Yes, I bought a house that has a backyard, so I have that, but that is just part of what I have wanted for years. And I spent 6 months trying to find it and I paid just slightly better than market price for it and have done a lot of work on it. Is that manifesting or making it happen? I feel like manifesting implies it is easier than putting your blood sweat and tears into making something happen. Or should I have just waited for it show up via LofA?

    Or how does having an amazing husband show up daily in my life? I’ve never even had an amazing boyfriend! And you know I have always truly believed that it would happen, and am frankly quite surprised it hasn’t happened by now.

    And as far as divine timing – grr! I think that’s another cop out. I don’t want to finally get the amazing husband and house in the country when I’m 93! If LofA means that I have to wait on it for it show up in it’s own sweet time, not really worth it. I can be patient, but to exercise my manifesting muscle every day for years and years to get something isn’t that much of a help.

    I want to reiterate I’m not complaining about my life. I have chosen to be happy so I am, and I am very grateful for everything that I have. But I feel like these platitudes with the LofA are designed to protect it from its actually having to work. Limiting beliefs. Divine timing. Must not really want it. You want it too much.

    And another thing…if you are supposed to detach from the outcome and yet still practice manifesting it every day AND wait on divine timing…how are you supposed to be motivated to practice every day for years and years when you “really” don’t even care if you get it?

  5. Let’s throw the “big things” out the window for a second. Have you manifested small things into your life? When I say that you have to recognize daily all the ways that the LofA shows up in your life, I’m not suggesting that what shows up will be directly connected to your biggest desires, but will be reflections of your current thoughts and desires. The recognition of those “coincidences” are what build your manifestation muscle.

    If you ask the Universe for the biggest thing you could want and get upset that it’s not providing, can you see how the Universe would hesitate to give it to you, not knowing if you’re ready for it or not? That’s where Divine Timing comes into play. If I ask the Universe for something, I have full faith that it will give it to me when I am ready (yes, even if that means I’m ready when I’m 93). And when I do receive it, even if it took longer than expected, I can always look back and see all the steps I had to take from request to manifestation and all the lessons I learned as a result.

    And If you’re not willing to wait for something, then are you asking for the right something? Could it be time to release those big dreams from 5 or so years ago and start fresh? You could end up back at the same conclusion, that you’re ready for the farm + man, or you could realize that while you wanted those things in the past, you’d rather dream a different dream now? Either way, you’re reconnecting to your deepest desires and the more important WHY? behind those desires.

    Lastly, are you actually asking for what you want? Yes, you’ve set the intentions, but have you then declared them? I did not begin to see my bigger ‘wants’ manifest until I made ‘public’ my desires. (I could elaborate way more on this point, but for brevity’s sake I just wanted to put it on the table.)

  6. Aimee, I appreciate your frustration with using LOA. I have been practicing LOA for quite some time and when reading your post and the replies, one of your statements really stood out which was, “you really don’t even care if you get it”. That in itself can be a show stopper.
    It has been my experience when using LOA to initially take time in laying out ALL the specifics of a desire by using a contrast and clarity worksheet. This way I see of the don’t wants and do wants related to the topic and can get really specific in what I wish to manifest. When you desire a farm, how are you visualizing this? What do you not wish to deal with in owning a farm? What is it about the farm that brings you the most joy and fulfillment? Also, is the desire simply self serving or is there a bigger impact for others as well in your manifesting it? Will you be growing fresh fruits/vegies to sell? Will others be able to work on the farm? Will you lease out pasture or farm area? When our desires are totaly self serving, I find them more difficult to manifest.
    It appears you are sending out mixed signals, one that you desire the farm and another that it’s fine if you don’t manifest it. I would invite you to take some time and re-evaluate your desires regarding the farm. You can get a free contrast and clarity worksheet from my website if you like and use it to help you become really specific and clear as to why you desire the farm and this time, include a larger scheme (what’s in it for others).
    Also, EFT is great for tapping in affirmations. Just my two cents worth 🙂

  7. I thought I was supposed to “detach from the outcome”. Meaning being perfectly okay with whatever happens? To me that means not caring whether I get it or not. Wanting it, but not attaching any need to it. Which to me makes sense, because if you go around feeling in lack because you REALLY WANT something else and you don’t have it, then you will be unhappy. On the farm thing, I wanted to live in closer contact with nature, have less impact, be self-sufficient, and not contribute to the rat race – so I feel like it isn’t self-serving. I am saying that the things I’ve got in my life I have created – through work and steps. I know the LofA says you also must take action, but the point is if I take action and it works, then why do I need the LofA?

    It just occurred to me that LofA might be better at manifesting things you don’t want if you think about them. So I do consciously redirect my thoughts when I think about things I don’t want – and I don’t really get much that I don’t want. I guess that’s a good enough reason to keep doing that portion of it. I’m just not sold on things happening because you think about them.

  8. I agree in detaching from an expected outcome but we should still focus on what we desire to manifest. One key element you may be neglecting is visualization. I invite all my clients to indulge in what I call productive daydreaming – or more traditionally known as visualization. When you allow yourself to visualize having your farm, being on your farm,the sights, smells, all combined with enjoying the peacefulness of nature, you send out a loving vibration along with the desire. Simply setting the intention, and then forgetting it won’t deliver much. You will have far more success when you include visualization and will enjoy seeing other things come into your life as well which are a vibrational match to the emotional vibrations you emit when visualizing.

  9. Aimee, if you’re serious about wanting, first one of things, and then another, I recommend you go to an external EFT/FasterEFT practitioner. You can’t always see what’s closest to your own face in terms of resistances. If it’s something really scary, there’s a good reason you’re not seeing it – you often just need someone cool to go there with you. Don’t wait 93 years to do THAT though.

  10. EFT is fantastic for identifying and then releasing blocks. I too would invite you to give it a go and see what comes up for you regarding your desire for the farm. I use it all the time both personally and professionally and love the wonderful results you can achieve when combining it with law of attraction. If you use EFT on this issue, please post your results Aimee. I would love to know what comes up for you after a few rounds of EFT. Good luck and happy attracting!

    Judith Wentzel
    The Breakthrough Expert for Coaches, Speakers & Trainers
    http://www.JudithWentzel.com